Living deliberately isn’t about achieving a Zen-like state of perfection. It’s not a polished formula you download once and execute without a hitch. If my life has taught me anything, from the pressure of clearing $380,000 in debt to the literal landmines I stepped on as a veteran, it’s that life is messy, unpredictable, and often loud.
Without a compass, you just react. You react to emails, family drama, market shifts, and the internal voice that says you aren’t doing enough.
Years ago, I realized I needed a “cheat sheet”, a simple, core framework to help me navigate choices when the world gets noisy. This guide, which I call the #BeingMichael guide, isn’t just for me; it’s for anyone who wants to stop drifting and start choosing.
It’s built on three layers: Purpose (the why), Principles (the what), and Values (the how).
Table of Contents
1. Purpose (The Compass): Live Fully by Living Deliberately
My purpose is simple: Live fully by living deliberately.
In my 20s and 30s, I spent a lot of time “working for tomorrow.” I was chasing a version of success that was always just over the next hill. The result? Burnout, a broken marriage, and financial strain. What I discovered during that recovery was that “someday” is a trap.
Living fully doesn’t mean being reckless or hedonistic. It means making conscious choices today that align with who you want to be tomorrow. It matters because when you live deliberately, you stop being a passenger in your own life. You start earning the outcomes you actually want.
What to do differently:
Stop asking “What should I do?” and start asking “Is this choice deliberate, or am I just reacting?” If it’s a reaction, pause. Re-align with your “why” before you move.
2. Principles (The Practice): The “What” of Daily Life
Principles are the practices that keep the compass pointing north. I break these down into three categories: taking care of myself, fostering relationships, and being an inspiring presence.
Taking Better Care of Myself
You cannot lead others if you are running on empty. I used to think self-care was a luxury; now I know it’s a leadership discipline.
- Meditate for alignment: Just five minutes to center myself before the day starts.
- Minimize debt: I learned the hard way that debt weighs on your freedom. I’ve repaid $380k, and I’m not going back.
- Move for the joy of it: Whether it’s cycling or walking, movement is medicine.
- Munch towards a long life: Food is fuel, not just a distraction.
- Sleep well: Everything looks worse when you’re tired.
Having Healthy Relationships
Relationships shouldn’t just happen to you. They require intentional infrastructure. I’ve found that listening is the infrastructure of any strong connection.
- Associate with intention: Spend time with those who inspire you or whom you truly care for.
- Courageous communication: This means being willing to say “no” and letting go of what no longer serves the relationship.
- Feedback & Recognition: Give it promptly and give it specifically.
- Be Kind, Not Nice: Niceness is often about avoiding conflict. Kindness is about telling the truth with compassion.
Being an Inspiring Person
This isn’t about being a “guru.” It’s about how you show up in your work and community.
- Challenge the status quo: Don’t do things just because “that’s how they’ve always been done.”
- Check the ego: Ego is the enemy of growth.
- Empowerment: Give people ownership of their work. Accountability is clarity, not pressure.
- Clear Boundaries: Boundaries aren’t walls; they are the gates that let the right things in and keep the wrong things out.
3. Values (The Foundation): The “How” of Living
If purpose is the destination and principles are the actions, values are the manner in which you travel. They are your proven personal values framework.
Smile (Acceptance over Judgment)
A smile is more than a facial expression. It’s a decision to welcome others without judgment. When I’m faced with a difficult situation, I try to smile first. It prevents me from immediately judging the person or the problem. I can then decide: do I accept this, reject this, or change my own approach to it?
Demonstrate Respect (Presence and Compassion)
Respect isn’t just about politeness; it’s about presence. It’s maintaining a calm presence even when things are going sideways. It’s about discovering the impact of your actions and having the compassion to move forward together.
Have Purpose (Curiosity and Thoughtful Action)
This value brings it all full circle. It’s about acting thoughtfully rather than impulsively. It’s staying curious about the world, which allows you to refresh your memory and expand your horizons.
Why it matters:
Without these values, your “principles” can become rigid and your “purpose” can become cold. Values provide the warmth and humanity that make a personal growth plan sustainable.
4. Conclusion: Alignment, Not Perfection
I didn’t develop this cheat sheet in a lab. I developed it while navigating three marriages, raising four boys, studying or working through ten countries, and rebuilding my career after failure.
Frameworks like this are for alignment, not perfection. There are days when I don’t meditate, days when I’m “nice” instead of “kind,” and days when I forget to smile. That’s okay. The goal isn’t to fall off the path; it’s to have a map that helps you find your way back as soon as possible.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the complexity of intentional living or mindful leadership, start small. Pick one principle or one value from this cheat sheet today.
Live fully. But more importantly, live deliberately.
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