Typically, when it comes to mistakes, I don’t mind sharing them because they’re a wonderful opportunity to learn from. Like two teaspoons of pink salt to a pack of Costco chicken is just a bit too much, while one and a half teaspoons is just right.
However, sometimes mistakes aren’t about making a meal taste bad. They can have lasting consequences that leave the heart and mind trembling for weeks afterward.
Last month, I experienced one of those mistakes through foreign exchange trading.
How big did I screw up?
The kind where the floor drops away, and panic rushes inward with the thought: how big did I screw up?
For background, I haven’t worked full-time since October 2024, when I exited Axelerant. Since then, I’ve struggled with how to define myself and continue supporting my wife and four kids.
Despite applying to over 400 jobs, I ended up with fewer than a dozen interviews. To get by, I drove Uber and did menial labor.
Interestingly, slowing down because of limited choices became something I found solace in. Eventually, I found a balance of English teaching, business mentoring, and foreign exchange trading, and life felt comfortable again.
Comfortable enough that I stopped thinking about a future where those fortunes might disappear, or where I might no longer have the flexibility I’d grown used to.
And this is where ego and greed entered quietly.
Despite spending the past decade developing my emotional intelligence, I hadn’t encountered situations that demanded deeper work in those areas.
I live simply. I strive to be respectful of others. I rarely make demands. Because of that, I didn’t consider how ego and greed could become unchecked in a critical part of my financial stability: foreign exchange trading.
The result was losing my slush fund and realizing just how fragile my sense of ease had been.
Thankfully, I wasn’t all-in, and my equity protection monitors worked as designed. They triggered early enough to prevent a catastrophic loss.
Still, I watched nearly six months of savings vanish as two trading accounts auto-sold themselves.
From that moment, I panicked for several days before I could reflect seriously on what had happened and how to recover.
Good enough is good enough
Through that reflection, I realized I had broken one of my own golden rules: good enough is good enough.
In trading, I kept reaching for a little more. Riding the edge of a 68% win average. Enjoying $200 days and occasionally $1,500 ones.
I never considered what would happen if that passive income disappeared, what level of risk I could truly tolerate, or how much trust I felt I would break if I lost hard.
Though I have daily meditations on my purpose, principles, and values, direct checks on ego and greed weren’t included. That omission mattered.
Those reflections usually keep me centered, consistent, and trustworthy to others. In this case, they failed to challenge me where I needed it most.
So after failing myself harder than I have in years, I’ve added a simple check to my recurring reflections: ego and greed.
Not to avoid financial risk entirely, but to notice where else I might be closing my eyes. Checking myself more directly is another way to become a little better each day.
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