Discipline is Overrated. Environment Shapes Who We Become

Reflection

When was the last time you blamed yourself for not having enough discipline? Was it about sleep, diet, exercise, or even staying focused at work?

For me, it was when I gained weight until I became obese and finally asked for professional help. Adding a diet pill, walking in the hills instead of on sidewalks, and increasing my daily protein intake have helped me more in recent months than anything else in years.

For being disciplined, I used to think the answer was more effort. Push harder, resist longer, try again. But then I asked myself, what if the problem isn’t really about discipline?

What if the environment we create quietly shapes who we become?

That question shifted my thinking and led me to one of the most personal lessons of my life.

Personal Story

For years, my life felt like a tug of war between what I wanted and what I actually did. Discipline carried me for a while. Eventually, though, I would hit a wall with exhaustion and frustration setting in.

The real shift came when I watched my eldest son constantly cry from stomach pain, and knowing I couldn’t fix it hurt deeply. After many doctor visits, he was diagnosed with celiac disease.

That meant no more wheat for him, and out of love, I chose to eat the way he had to. At first, it felt like a sacrifice. But something surprising happened: I began feeling better, too. Within three weeks, I lost weight, and my thinking became clearer and sharper.

Because of celiac disease, our meals became intentional. We cooked together, sat down without electronics, to converse and listen more instead of planning my next words. What started as an adjustment for my son turned into a transformation for my family and me. And the key wasn’t discipline, it was the environment.

Practical Guidance

Discipline is like a backup battery. It can power you for a while, but it drains quickly. The environment is the power grid; it sustains you long term.

Here are a few lessons that helped me:

1. Remove the friction. Notice what trips you up and take it out of your environment. When Netflix kept me up late, I blocked it. When cookies kept disappearing from the cupboard, I stopped buying them. Without the obstacle in reach, there was nothing to resist.
2. Set the stage the night before. Mornings can be chaotic. To avoid that, I pack my backpack, set my shoes by the door, and prep my lunch the night before. When I wake up, I’m not starting the day with decisions; I’m starting with momentum. For work, I close tabs, jot down tomorrow’s priorities, and leave my things tidy so I return to clarity instead of clutter.
3. Automate where possible. Every decision costs energy. To save mine, I use calendar reminders, recurring deliveries, and automation tools for repetitive work. The more I automate, the less I rely on memory or discipline. At work, this means workflow tools send reports automatically, so I don’t waste energy tracking deadlines or tasks.
4. Reduce choices. I keep a smaller, simpler wardrobe. Fewer decisions mean less stress. Eating out, I only look at the first three to five dishes on the menu and ignore the rest. At work, I focus on one task at a time instead of pretending to multitask.
5. Align with your values. Convenience fades, but environments built around health, rest, and relationships endure. When work piles up, I choose to step into the kitchen and cook something simple. That small act keeps me grounded and gives me the chance to sit with my family instead of eating in a rush. In leadership, this means choosing slower one-on-one conversations over quick messages, because I value listening and genuine connection.

Encouragement

If you’re frustrated that your discipline runs out, you’re not alone, you’re not weak, you’re just human. Because while discipline fades, environment endures. And when your surroundings match your needs or values, the best choices stop being difficult.

Therefore, start small. Shift one piece of your environment today.

• Remove a distraction
• Prepare for success
• Reduce unnecessary decisions

These steps will ripple you forward into a more intentional life.

Last week, I stopped keeping my daily work gear in two different rooms. Now, when I sit down, I can start right away without battery life and missing headset distractions.

Stepping back, when I look at my son these days, thriving and healthier, I’m reminded that environmental changes don’t just help me, they change the lives of the people I love most, too.

So, what’s one change you could make right now that future you will smile about?