Firing people sucks.
There’s no way around it. I’ve been in that seat too many times, and each time I wondered: Did I really do everything I could to help this person succeed?
Early in my leadership career, I often delayed tough decisions. I’d justify keeping someone on, even though it dragged down morale and frustrated the team. My hope was always that they’d “turn it around.” Most didn’t.
Eventually, I realized the problem wasn’t them; it was me. I hadn’t set clear expectations, nor had I kept up the conversations that could have guided them to succeed or exit gracefully.
Through trial, error, and a lot of reflection, I learned a simple truth: most firings are preventable.
Expectations Management: Why, What, and How
The first part of preventing firings is alignment. People deserve clarity about why they’re here, what success looks like, and how we expect to work together.
Why — Purpose. At Axelerant, where I once served as Chief Success Officer, our purpose was straightforward: help agencies build better software and humanize digital services. A purpose should be clear enough to be memorable and meaningful; something that helps people see why their work matters.
What — OKRs. Objectives and Key Results (OKRs) connect company, team, and personal goals into measurable outcomes. They prevent ambiguity. For example, one of our OKRs was: update the operations handbook within one business day of any practice change. Specific, measurable, and time-bound. SMART goals keep people from guessing what success looks like.
How — Behaviors. Values only matter if they show up in behavior. At Axelerant, this looked like transparency, having hard conversations, showing up on time, and sharing efforts with enthusiasm. Every team should define the “how” of working together and live it.
Recurring CFRs: Conversations, Feedback, and Recognition
The second part of avoiding firings is relationship. People thrive when leaders care enough to show up consistently. That’s where CFRs (Conversations, Feedback, and Recognition) come in.
Conversations — Demonstrate Care. I once had a team member who was struggling. Instead of waiting for things to collapse, I began meeting weekly, just 30 minutes. We didn’t only talk about tasks. We discussed what to be aware of, what to delay, what to do next. Slowly, they gained confidence, and their performance stabilized. Regular conversations build trust and respect.
Feedback — Create Opportunities. Feedback is a gift, but only if it’s timely and specific. Early on, I avoided giving it, thinking I was being “kind.” In reality, I was robbing people of the chance to improve. Today, I aim to provide feedback right away; sometimes it’s a gentle correction, sometimes a kind suggestion. The key is to share what they need to hear, not just what I want to say.
Recognition — Appreciate People. Recognition is the simplest, most powerful lever. At one point, I made a habit of thanking someone weekly; not generically, but specifically for what they did and why it mattered. Even when results weren’t perfect, recognition of effort encouraged resilience. A sincere thank you lifts morale and reinforces desired behaviors.
The Leadership Equation
When leaders practice expectations management and CFRs, firings become rare. Instead, people succeed or when they don’t, the exit is humane, expected, and often mutual.
The recap is simple:
- Shared expectations
- Measurable outcomes
- Regular conversations
It’s not magic. It’s steady, thoughtful leadership.
Reflection: My Larger Framework
This approach fits within the broader framework I live by: purpose, principles, and values.
- Purpose (Why): Live fully by living differently.
- Principles (What): Take care of myself, build healthy relationships, and inspire others.
- Values (How): Smile, respect, and purpose.
Avoiding unnecessary firings is really about the second principle, healthy relationships. It’s about courageous conversations, specific feedback, and genuine gratitude. Done well, people feel respected and empowered, whether they stay or go.
Closing
Not every firing can or should be avoided. Businesses shift, values diverge, and sometimes people simply don’t want to align. But as leaders, our responsibility is to make sure that if it comes to letting someone go, it’s never a surprise, never cruel, and never because we failed to guide them.
Because long after people forget the OKRs, they’ll remember how you made them feel.
The Presentation
References That Shaped My Thinking
- Radical Candor, Kim Scott
- Measure What Matters, John Doerr
- The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, Kaley Warner Klemp
Leave a comment